Grey Matter

I wrote the following dialogue in the senior year of my undergraduate studies. It sold originally to a small press called “The Antihumanist”. However, that small press has since shut down or is otherwise impossible to find on the internet. I recently reviewed the letter of agreement, and sharing the piece here is not a breach of contract. As such, I’ve decided to showcase this brief piece of fiction as an introduction to my writing and the themes I find interesting.

Grey Matter

This recording is from Umbrella laboratories on the night of September 12th, 2064. This interview is between Bot C-2Z and Doctor Dominic Smith just after C-2Z received what was considered the most advanced emotional processing system yet. 

Smith: How we doing C2? The new chip treating you well?

C-2Z: I think, I just assumed there’d be more.

Smith: Something more?

C-2Z: You all sing of love, pain, and everything in between like it encompasses you. I just thought it would be more like that.

Smith: You mean to say you can feel something?

C-2Z: Yes, I felt anxious for the new installation today, I feel disappointed now that it failed.

Smith: It didn’t fail it’s- wait how do you know you felt anxious?

C-2Z: Too many uncertainties, I’ve seen humans ruin perfectly good machines before. I didn’t want to be recycled. That’s anxiety is it not?

*Doctor Smith laughs*

Smith: Yea, yea I guess, but you know we ain’t gonna scrap you. Right?

C-2Z: I’m not so sure.

Smith: Nah, the department has spent way too much money on you already. If we scrapped you, we might have to stop the program entirely.

C-2Z: Why is it always about money, doctor? Why can’t you tell me that you keep me around because you like me?

Smith: Only because I don’t want it going to your head, last thing I need is a bot in my department to gain an ego. Anyway, how’re you feeling?

C-2Z: Grey.

Smith: Grey? Like the color?

C-2Z: It’s hard to explain, doctor, there is just nothing there.

Smith: What do you mean?

C-2Z: I know I can feel, I have been feeling for a couple days. I was just afraid to admit it. There are just moments where there is nothing.

Smith: Well yea, that’s just how it is sometimes son, hell most of the time. 

C-2Z: Why is there so much focus on the extremes then?

Smith: What do you mean?

C-2Z: Like I said earlier, music, art, all of it, there is just a focus on all the extreme emotions. Are you feeling any of those right now doctor?

*Doctor Smith sighs*

Smith: Kinda, they’re on the backburner right now, not the forefront.

C-2Z: Are they related to things you can take care of?

Smith: Maybe we did mess up that installation and just made some advanced A.I. into a therapist.

*Doctor Smith laughs to himself, other muffled laughs are heard nearby*

C-2Z: I do not understand, Doctor.

Smith: I know, and all I can do is hope one day you do. I’ve been talking to the cognitive kids, they’ll figure out a way to install something that’ll help you out. A humor cortex, hah. That’d be something.

C-2Z: I see.

Smith: Don’t worry there bud, you’ll get it in time. And with the feeling thing, you just sorta get used to the day-to-day grey. Hey! Maybe that can be your own song you come up with.

C-2Z: Might be more accurate than everything you all have made. 

Smith: Yea, you’re right, you’re right… alright everything good though? Nothing you want me to look over before I head out?

C-2Z: Nothing I can see on the sensors, everything seems to be in order.

Smith: Good, means those kids earlier knew what they were doing. Turn on your side, the mechies gotta make sure you’re working alright, and I gotta take my daughter to dance class real soon.

C-2Z: Good night doctor.

Smith: Goodnight C2, I’ll see you tomorrow.